I have been meaning to write new blog posts and catch you up on some of my most recent sessions. Earlier today I knew which session I wanted to share with you, my faithful reader, but on the way home this evening from a trip to the local ice cream shop something else came to mind.
God.
Not in the usual ways in which I think about our father nor in the form of thanking him for the parking space, the exact quarters I needed for a Coca Cola or for placing an extra memory card in my camera bag at just the right moment. This time it was a little different. I drove home with the ice cream in my hand and the spoon in my mouth munching away while feeling for a mere minute and a half like my blood was boiling. I felt angry, betrayed and helpless.
As I drove into my drive way and failed at parking correctly because I was much more concentrated on eating my ice cream, a great song came on the radio, the christian radio. During the drive from getting ice cream to my drive way I prayed for peace - peace of mind and peace of heart. When I finally reversed correctly I sat there in my car smiling, praising and worshiping.
I believe in Jesus Christ. I believe he died on the cross for our sins and that he is seated at the right hand of God. One day he will come again and I pray that I am saved. But I have not been to church on a regular basis in a very long time. I don't know why, I really don't. A few people have reminded me that I need to go back. I need to hear the word.
And I do. And for a few months now I have felt like such a bad child for neglecting to attend church regularly. I often tell myself that Christ lives in me. I thank him daily, continuously and pray to God very often. God is with me in or out of church. That's my rationality.
But I don't hear the word. I can read it but I don't hear it from someone else. But today, just literally a few minutes ago, I realized that I do. I do hear the word. I do worship. As I sat there in my car, I thought about all the times I sit at the wheel and drive listening to the word on the radio, in form of songs. I sing out loud, very loud, and I cry. If I feel the spirit, I cry. During my drives around the valley is when I talk the most to God .
It's when I ask him, with tears in my eyes, to take my hand and guide me. I worship. I realized that the same feeling I get when I'm in church is what I feel when I devote my time to him - completely. So today, singing along to Francesca Battistelli one of part of her lyrics stuck with me..
"In the middle of my little mess I forget how big I'm blessed..."
I choose to no longer feel overwhelmed, depressed, anxious nor fearful for anything in my life. I am blessed. I am blessed. I am blessed!
Now, I don't have a photo to go along with this post as I had other plans to blog. But because I felt I just needed to write this down, for myself, I will let you in on a little, itty bitty secret...
I HAVE AN OFFICE SPACE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whew. It's been hard to spilling the beans for almost a month now. This is a big deal for me... more on this soon - promise!
Oh, and yes... my website should be back up tomorrow evening ;)
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